Our relationships can be repetitive patterns of our attitudes and behaviors. Attitudes, values and beliefs are learned during childhood from parents, family members, role models and/or other caregivers. Examples include:
prioritizing work over family
difficulty having fun
over-dependence on others
avoiding conflict
too independent
fear of failure
excessive spending
fear of closeness
caretaking
keeping grudges
Skills Learned: Stress and emotional management skills are also learned. Over time, some of them can become addictive. These addictive qualities may include eating habits, having a drink or two, drug use, gambling or shopping. Addictive qualities not only impact the “doer” but also the partner and/or the entire family.
The Road to Re-balance
As we begin to see how our previous attitudes and behaviors impact our relationships we need to move toward finding a new balance in our lives. Re-balance becomes a big part of the solution. How do we accomplish this? By implementing new attitudes and behaviors into our relationships. Examples include:
open communication clear boundaries
humor acceptance of self/others
resolving conflict mistakes are accepted
encouraging personal growth respecting privacy safety with closeness trustfulness
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